On my way to nothing
by seasnake.756
Summary: Kira moved away to another place after GS. Now acting as a blind caretaker, what will he do when the war brings Minerva and crew to his doorstep. Please R
1. Chapter 1

Now let's start another one. After I rolled the idea for a month. I'm gonna start now. So this is set a little after GS but, no suprise there, it's gonna be GSD. more info look for the end.

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Gunshots. Beams. Hits. Aegis coming towards him. Pain. Explosion.

Darkness.

"…"

Kira jolted up from his bed. It was dark. Nothing made sense anymore. His senses seemed to be too alert.

H calmed himself slowly. It had been a nightmare, nothing to worry about at all. But still he felt too nervous. Was there an attack? No it couldn't be. The war had ended. Right?

Kira stumbled to the bathroom to have some water. While he was going he glanced the clock. 2 am.

He lit the bathroom light.

And his breath hitched to his throat. Cold and lifeless eyes looked him back. They were violet but reflected no light. They were his eyes.

Kira understood. That's why he'd been more alert. He was in SEED mode. Kira tried to calm himself. Inside he knew that it was impossible. He was stuck like this.

He went back to bead.

The next day

After waking up, Kira went to Lacus. He stood there with his eyes closed so that the kids couldn't see.

"Lacus. I need to talk to you, please."

Lacus diverted her eyes from trying to get one of the kids to stop whatever he was doing. She knew this was important.

They went to the beach. There Kira showed his eyes. Lacus was shocked and scared. he looked like this when he was killing people.

"Lacus, I think I should go away." Kira stated eyes closed.

"What are you going to do when you go away?"

"Maybe I'll start another orphanage. Eyes closed of course. I'll just be a civilian who was blinded during the last war."

"I'll miss you."

"Me too but this is for the best." Kira breathed in and out. "The kids and all. It's better that I'm not here. I'll have to tell Cagalli and Athrun. It just…. pains me to leave like this but I can't stay. Someone might find out."

Lacus was silent and then offered her cell. "Call them now. Lets not delay this longer."

Kira made the phone calls. They also agreed to keep in contact via cells but they wouldn't know Kiras location. Cagalli also made the requiring paperwork. Kira was on a plane the next day.

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So Kira will be a kind of Malchio the II but it wont stay like that. Our dear GSD cast will appear and all that. And that damn insignifigant war (no pun intended) and the politics will be on the background. Now I just need to think a good name for Kira to use. Please review. Suggestions will be taken. Thanks! 


	2. Chapter 2

I think the war ended somewhere C.E 72. I'm too lazy to check now. Kiras name came from Milisante thank you for some inspiring. Xmas is coming and that means holidays. I hope it also means updates. And yes they did let Kira go a little too easely but i'm lazy writing up long dialogues when they end about the same way. I'm too practical for that. Well enjoy now for this little I have for you.

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**Cosmic Era 73 **

Kira. now using the name Keith, woke from yet another dream of the war. He went to the personal bathroom he had as the caretaker of the orphanage. No need for the lights anymore. His eyes were closed remember? Another glass of water to replace the drops he had sweated to his sheets.

The nightmares hadn't stopped but after a while he had started to tolerate them. He was the Ultimate Coordinator after all. He could tolerate anything.

But sometimes he wished he could just walk around with his eyes open. To truly see everything around him. But it was for the sake of all those things that he kept them closed. Sometimes he thought he was selfish, he didn't want them to hate him so he lied to them.

The orphanage was outside the town and every other day he went to there with the kids to do shopping and other business. He actually managed to keep the kids safe near him pretty well when, to the kinds and to everybody else, he was namely blind. So no problem with that.

Even though he'd woken up at 6, he decided to wake up. After a shower he was standing in front of a mirror. He prepared himself and opened them. Every morning he did the same and, like then, was disappointed. Light didn't reflect from his eyes. Corpse, he thought, a corpse.

He went to make breakfast for everyone.

**At Orb.**

Cagalli, Athrun, Lacus and people from the Archangel were at the beach house. A nice dinner took place there but it was clear even for an outsider that someone was missing from the group. They felt it themselves too.

"Say people, why don't we call Kira?" Athrun said, slightly drunk. The get together was because Cagalli and Athrun (or Alex) were going to the plants to meet chairman Dullindal at the next day.

Others nodded. They hadn't heard about him lately. An untraceable connection was made and soon at Kiras house the phone rang. It was morning there. Kira answered with curious voice. He didn't know who it was.

"Hello?"

"Kira! Is that how you greet your war pals and sister?" Came a loud shout with lots of background noise. Kira wasn't entirely sure that there was anyone relatively sober among them. Well, except the kids but that didn't count. They were sleeping.

"Yes it is if you guys behave like this." Kira was rather surprised from the call. It was the first for 2 moths.

"Aww, you just missed us. I know that you are really glad that we called you…. So how is it going there?"

"Here's going great. I can't thank you enough for the preparations, Cagalli. The townspeople are a little sceptical about how a blind guy can raise kids but I'll manage. Now to my question, then. WHY THE HELL ARE CAGALLI AND ATHRUN DRINKING WHEN THEY HAVE TO GO TO THE PLANTS TOMORROW????????!!!!!!!!!"

Orb side of the line covered their ears.

"Don't yell dammit. I know that I have to be there tomorrow and I'll be fine." Cagalli was _irritated... _so to say.

Kira sniggered at the other end. "Yea right you two. No go to bed because I don't want to hear that some nation will have weapons just 'cause you had a hangover at the negotiations."

"Ur cruuueeell" Was herd accompanied by a loud yawn. " Oh shut up all of you and go to sleep. The kids here are waking so I'll go now. See ya."

"G'night Kiiirraaaa……..snore"

A wide smile on his face, Kira erased the call from the files and went to wake the kids.

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You see so rarely actual drunkness so... hah couldn't resist. And Kira lives somewhere far away. The time difference ya'know.

Throw me a review.


	3. Chapter 3 contemplating

**Important! Read this**

Just for your info, I'll be stealing the beginning happenings from GSD straight 'cause I'm lazy. Timeline placing goes like this: Minerva is on Orb and instead Athrun meeting Kira, they'll talk on the phone and I sure as hell am not writing that talk here. I hope you can forgive me. Enjoy! Oh and Kira and co. survived from the fall of Junius 7.

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**Orb Main island**

Shinn was walking towards the square that held the memorial of the Bloody Valentine war.

He'd heard where it was when he'd left from Morgenroete facilities.

It was a simple looking but still a beautiful place. Even in the middle of the darkest and bitterest thoughts, he found himself silently admiring the scene. Even if the flowers were going to wither because of the tidal waves Junius 7 had roused. Shinn heard singing in the air. **(Insert "Fields of Hope" here.) **He saw that there was already someone in front of the stone-made memorial.

It was someone older than him. The long pink hair flowed in the wind as she set flowers to the stone. He got a nagging feeling that he should know the person. But at the moment he was a little too wrapped in his pain that he couldn't even remember when he was supposed to back.

The singing ceased when she turned towards him and looked him in the eyes. Despite the distance, Shinn felt like she was looking into his very soul.

"Is that the memorial?"

A soft and melodic voice answered. "Yes it is. Is this your first time here?"

"Yes... Just haven't got time to come." Somehow he felt that he should justify himself.

A short laughter rang in his ears. "Don't worry. It's also my first proper visit here. But even when I stand here and think all the lost people, I'm not sad, nor angry."

Shinn lifted his head. How could she _not_ be sad? "Why's that?" He was angry. "I lost my family in an attack here at Orb. In front of my eyes. How can I not be angry?"

Something lashed through her eyes. Then she walked past Shinn and he thought she was leaving but the sound of her steps stopped suddenly.

"In the words of someone long forgotten from this world: _Do not pity the dead, pity the living. _Good day to you."

Shinn fell silent. Then he turned abruptly. "Wa-…" He stopped. There wasn't anyone in the square.

Momentarily he wondered had she been there in the first place. But then he remembered, _"Do not pity the dead, pity the living." _

But then he found that those words were the only thing he could recall from the meeting. He seemingly shrugged it off and went back, away from the square.

In the edge of the small forest, hidden by the trees, Lacus smiled a sad smile. 'That boy is unfortunate.' A sigh. 'I wonder what you would've said to him…. Kira.' She looked at the birds above the sea.

**With Cagalli & Athrun:**

"GOING TO PLANTS???" A loud shout could be heard as Cagalli stared dumbfounded at Athrun. 'Why are you leaving me at a time like this?' Floated in her head.

"I've thought about it. There must be something I can do to stop this war."

"What can you do in ZAFT Athrun. You follow orders in military. Not invent your own."

A heavy silence.

"I've made my decision. I talked to Kira yesterday. He told me to do what I believe in. I'll go."

Cagalli said nothing. They both could already hear the sound of the helicopter. Outside she pulled herself together.

"I'll miss you." It was a silent whisper.

Athrun looked her and thought it was a good moment. He reached to his pocket.

"I know the thing between Yuna and you and I don't approve to it. That's why…"

He slit the ring to her ring finger.

"A-A-Athrun…" She stopped for a moment. "You know this isn't the right way to give a girl a ring, you know."

They both blushed heavily. Then the borders were crossed and they shared a last kiss before Athrun left for the PLANTs.

**With Kir****a (still don't know where… damn)**

Kira contemplated the call Athrun had given him. He felt bad for not answering him straight.** (if I remember right, Kira never gave him a straight answer)**

He'd followed the news about the fall. He knew it was just for the sake of war. There were strong powers behind these battles. Both sides were equally soiled in blood.He was sad to think what the children would have to go through again. They had all lost someone in the last war. That's why they were in his care to begin with. He had his suspicions about the Seilan family. Only part of it was because Yuna was in some kind of engagement with his sister but there was something shady in them. He saw no reason to stop following the news even if they didn't really touch him anymore.

That still didn't explain why he had Freedom in a container at the bottom of the sea, just outside the small gulf he had the house in. He didn't want to fight again, did he?

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No humor here. More like love. Damn I suck at making up emotions. I think nearly made Shinn to have sense here. Not good. I'm not really fond of Shinn.

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Merry Xmas to everyone. Love ya. Now love me (or hate me) and REVIEW. 


	4. Chapter 4 All kind of stuff

**I suggest you read this! **After consulting my GS and GSD mangas and Wikipedia, I have decided where Kira is. As an earlier chapter stated, the time difference between Orb and the place Kira is in, is big. And since Orb is said to be a little east from what we know as Australia, I've decided that Kira is in Europe, Spain. I probably made a mistake (a big one) somewhere here but it's gonna be Spain anyway 'cause the **(spoiler)** is there. Simply said, this is in save of my mental health. Thank you.

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**At Orb.**

Cagalli was having a stressful day. The council insisted they'd join the EA. She opposed the idea. Simple and even battle of wits between a 19-year girl and at least ten middle-aged council members. Not unfair at all. Then there was the Yuna business aka the wedding business.

In her opinion, it sucked. Despite that she was the lioness if Orb, she was still a teenager. And she needed support. A war had been brewed.

She had no other choices than to accept. God she hated it.

They'd set the signing to the same date as the wedding. They were fools, all of them. She wanted to call Kira but she was practically trapped to the Seilan mansion. So she wrote a letter to the orphanage. She cried when she closed the envelope. The ring was enclosed with a gentle wipe. **(whatever that means…)**

**Lacus &**** Co.**

The letter had arrived. The situation was overall grave but in the end, no words were needed. Politics of Orb forced them to leave. A message to Minerva had been sent days ago.

Thank heavens they had followed the advice. If Andy guessed right, they would go farther than to the Carpentaria base **(in Australia. North coast.) **

All that was left was Cagalli. They knew what she was doing. She believed that she was doing this for her people. She couldn't see how wrong she was. It was painful to see how she withered away without the proper support from Athrun. He wasn't there anymore for her, nor was Kira in true sense. Phone calls couldn't replace the warmth of a person. Everything had been completed ages ago. Only Cagalli was left. They wouldn't leave her behind.

**Kira and kids**

This day, like any other Thursday, Kira and the kinds were going to the town. Since the orphanage was situated in the outskirts of said town, everyday shopping had to be done on a one day. But it was no problem for the kids 'cause they loved the town. Kira on the other hand, had to be careful when visiting. There were many risks for him but more for the kids. The blind façade he kept up was a hindrance when the kids got themselves into trouble.

Also, if he used his inhumane senses, the people would start wondering. He was also a formidable fighter even eyes closed.

So, todays program consisted of them going to shopping. Mostly he just sent the kids to do the job but there was a risk that they'd end up fighting. The town was dear the Gibraltar base and there was always a risk of attacks. And the local kids who had families, didn't always accept the ones he took care of. Kira found it sad.

Also, there were the good-for-nothing thugs in the town. They weren't really fond if him. He was always nervous about what would happen. he wasn't afraid what they would do to him, rather what he to them.

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Next chapter will be up fast 'cause I'm excited to write it too. This one is short but I promise, it wont be long in the future. So next up Kiras Town Day! 


	5. Chapter 5 Kinda filler but read

Hate me, kill me, kiss me, make me disappear... I wont continue that... Now for a kinda filler-like chapter. Bear with me but it's necessary. And I suck with plots.

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The walk wasn't long. To the village, you know. Kira felt the ocean breeze all the way.

The laughter that rang in the air was simply calming. It lightened up his soul. He had met the mirror again this morning. It had hurt, like every morning before. But he looked after the kids. It brought light to his life.

He could hear the villages sounds already. Had the walk been shorter this time? He willed a gentle smile to his face. Façades were something of a must. For him.

As he stepped inside the village, the kids ran immediately to their friends. They had a deal that they'd meet before sunset in the same place and everyone would have the assigned item with them. That left them less work.

Kira hoped that it would go without a fight. He himself walked to a café in the centre. He'd agreed to meet some friends there.

They were already there when he reached the café. He could hear their voices, as loud as they were.

There was Sharon, Jiod and Fens** (completely random names)**. The first meeting between them had been a bumping in the street. After that they had just started to hang around every time Kira visited.

-Keith! Finally you came. We waited for ages." Sharon spoke enthusiasm in her voice.

-It was five minutes, Miss Exaggerator Sharon. You should fix your sense of reality." Fens shared his opinion with the class.

-Sense of reality!!! How dare you blame a fine lady like me of something like that? I should just………"

And so the bantering continued and Jiod told Kira where the chair was. When he was sitting down, Jiod cut off the argument.

-Now you two, lets behave since our hardworking friend is here with us. And Keith I orderedyour coffee already. And more drinks for the _old marriage couple_ at the other end of the table…" Jiod said with a sickening sweet voice that was laced with playful malice. It really sent cold shivers down your spine. Sharon and Fens were quiet in seconds.

Jiod tended to have that effect.

They spent the day chatting and talking. Away from the looming war, even though that ZAFT Gibraltar base was quite near the town. Sometimes the soldiers came to have some R&R.

The fights were inevitable. It wasn't about being a Coordinator or a Natural; it was more of a matter of public peace. Soldiers were sometimes violent.

After a day of nice sunshine and good company, it was a shame to ruin it. But the evening brought some trouble.

When the sun was setting Kira found himself with the kids again. Wind had gotten colder and by the time all of them should've been there, it was almost freezing. Well, that what it felt to them after a warm day. Then something was noticed.

One of the kids wasn't there. A boy named Sean.

Kiras stomach turned but nothing could be seen from the outside. Other children were nearly panicky but Kira calmed them down. He told them to listen. Soon enough, they heard the cries of a child.

They ran, following the voices. They found the source.

It was an alley where they found Sean. He was surrounded by five drunk ZAFT soldiers. Or that's what Kira thought based on the sounds they made. He also spared a passing thought to the amount of alcohol they had drunk. It wasn't exactly easy to get a Coordinator drunk.

-Hey you guys!" He shouted. "Leave him alone. Go and take on someone your own size." **(That's sooooo corny…..)**

-Well well, if it isn't some stupid Natural who doesn't know his place." The slurred speech was like a hammer to his ears. The meaning of the words almost escaped him. The men decided that a kid really wasn't a beating they were looking for so they were closing in on Kira.

Kira made a simple hand gesture and the kids knew to back up. They didn't know what he was going to do but they knew that the men were dangerous. Sean ran to the other kids.

Then suddenly- "Hey, you morons! You feeling so great that you can beat up a blind man, huh?"

There were his friends, Sharon being the one who shouted. The soldiers came to the conclusion that now wasn't a good time.

"Hey you Natural! We'll finish this later, remember that." And so they left, running.

"Keith, are you alright?" A worried voice inquired. Sharon sounded a bit upset.

"Yeah I'm alright; they didn't get to do anything to me. Thanks for coming." A sheepish smile, certain waves of hand and that's it. Sharon was calm.

"You sure? They promised to get back at you later." Jiod sounded a little suspicious.

"It's nothing, really. I'll be fine. Now I need to get the kids back home….. Thanks again."

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Kira seems like a manipulator... Whatever, I've had some writers block lately but I managed to write most of this while my internet was dead... Of course, my brother was gracefully watching over my shoulder. Review please :) 


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